What’s wrong about being alone?

I came across a video in which Canadian poet-songwriter-singer Tanya Davis performs and recites her poem “How to be alone”. And, after watching it and reading and re-reading every phrase in that genuine work of art, I couldn’t help but thinking deeply in this being-alone thing.

The poem can be said to summarize in more or less 50 lines what hundreds of self-help books have been trying to explain to people. It is like a simple manual to teach how to enjoy being by yourself, to see the positive side of being alone, to like your own company. The author shares with us a step-by-step guide to show ourselves alone to the world and be happy with it. Therefore, the piece is not only a combination of exquisite subtle rhymes, gorgeous ideas, and a realization of the hope of finding great modern poets, but also a group of words that go far beyond and may work as a life buoy when you feel you’re drowning.



There’s a part of the poem that says: “Society is afraid of alone though. Like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements. Like people must have problems if after a while nobody is dating them.” Isn’t this incredibly true? But why is that so? What is in being with someone that makes us more “normal”? Why do we all grow up with the idea of finding a partner? Do we really need it or is that what we are imposed? I’m not saying being with someone is not nice. I love being with my boyfriend as well as with my friends, family, partners, students, etc. But what’s wrong with me if I choose not to be with anybody?

Looking at some dictionary entries, I’ve found many different meanings of the word “loneliness”, and the one I prefer is:
“A feeling of depression resulting from being alone”
But I needed a word that shared the meaning of being alone, but expressed different feelings. So I thought about “solitude”, which means:
“When you are alone, especially when this is what you enjoy”
That’s why, I guess being alone is not the actual problem, but how we feel about is the crux of the matter.

I you have ten minutes to spare, do watch the video and read the poem. You never know if it can cheer you or a friend up.